mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize