So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't notice because vodka
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
