What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
