i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So much rum. So many feels.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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