this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
