How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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