I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
