ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
