y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
