party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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