I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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