"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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