I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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