i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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