on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
