I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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