when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
