My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
