I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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