oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
