My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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