like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
