Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize