just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have already put on my inside pants.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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