I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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