you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
