Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
try to milk me bitch
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