Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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