Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
