Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
