I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
