i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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