the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
