my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
