he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize