Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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