Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
