sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
