so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
