Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
