Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
