forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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