ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
