That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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