Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry about my life...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize