...so i touched it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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