Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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