Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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