I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize