I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
