you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My ATM looks so different sober.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
