My sheets look like a crime scene.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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