Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
