So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
