took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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