So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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