I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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