Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
