i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
