is your mom at the bar?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I could fuck to npr.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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