Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
where am i from again
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
two words...techno handjob
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My feet surprised me
Randomize
