despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
