I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
