We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
